Impact
by The Cliffhanger Girl
Summary: Regret constantly eats away at her, until one day, she just snaps. Will an old "friend" be able to dig her out of her rut, or will she be hit just as hard, on impact?


Hey guys! This is actually an unexpected, confusing oneshot. You will understand what I mean, once you read it! But, this goes out to **_eclarefanxxx_** who suggested a oneshot like this, so you can thank her for that! Please enjoy this complicated, confusing oneshot I call "Impact"...

**Twitter:** TheCliffyG

No Beta Reader, so ignore mistakes if any :)

**A/N-** **Check out TurboWiz70's Youtube Channel and watch her Vlog called "Important Announcement" because it is indeed an important announcement...concering the both us, perhaps, writing together?**

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><p><em><strong>Impact<strong>_

**CLARE**

"_I'm sorry Clare, but she was killed on impact. There's nothing we could've done, we tried, but her heart gave out. We're so sorry honey." _

I jolted out of my memory, gripping my hands to my English desk as everyone's heads turned to look in my direction, "Ms. Edwards, would you like to elaborate on what Mr. Goldsworthy said?"

"U-uh, w-what did he say? I'm sorry, I didn't hear him," I choked out, holding back a sob as Eli cleared his throat, before repeating, "I said that Romeo killed himself because he thought his Juliet was dead. At the time, he thought it was logical to do so. But, turns out they both just ended up dead because of lack of communication. They should've talked it out, but they didn't…so that's why I think Romeo and Juliet was a tragedy waiting to happen. But, it doesn't change the way they felt, they both loved each other, dead or alive."

My heart raced uneasily, as tears formed in the rims of my eyelids, "I-I think Eli's right, that they both loved each other, and because they didn't communicate enough, they suffered the consequences…which was death."

"_Say your goodbye's sweetheart, you can't stand here all night. They have to lower her down into the ground; they have to do their job. I don't want you to see that." _

I inhaled sharply, seeing everybody once again turn their heads to stare at me, but the only person in the room who had a look of concern, was Eli. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat, as Ms. Dawes asked, "Would you like to be excused for a moment, Clare?"

My chest heaved, tears streaming down my face as I frantically packed my books up, throwing them in my book bag. I watched through teary-eyed vision as my Romeo and Juliet book dropped to the floor. I shook my head, not wanting to stay here any longer, so I just darted out of the room, as fast as I could, forgetting about the book.

"Ms. Edwards you forgot your book!" I kept running, and running, ignoring the fact that I left my books back there. I didn't want to stay there, to watch everyone flash me looks of disgust and whisper new rumors I'd have to worry about.

My lungs were burning, as my legs were growing tired from the constant, fast paced motion I kept going in. I could hear my heart thumping in my head, so I stopped, to slump down near a tree, leaning on the bark while trying to regain my breath.

"Fuck," I hissed under my breath, digging through my bag, to try to find that one piece of metal that makes these thoughts go away, to make these memories go the _**fuck **_away.

"Come on, come on," I continued to dig through my bag, tears slipping down my cheeks, as I sniffled, and when I felt the cool metal prick my index finger, I sighed in relief. I pulled out the razor, while pulling my knees up against my chest tightly.

"_I never got to apologize Mom, I never got to tell her that I was sorry for being a complete and utter bitch to her…I accepted Jake's apology, but I never accepted hers! I should've accepted hers, not Jake's! I should've, but I didn't! I should've dumped him, and kept her! I needed her! She needed me!" _

"Ah," I sighed in relief, watching the stream of blood trickle down my arm, and drip onto my already blood stained jeans from the other numerous times I've cut. But this time, it was different. I dug a little deeper, I cut directly on the vein, and the feeling, was immense.

"_S-she had problems with Dave and all I thought about was myself…It was always me…me, me, me. All she thought about was how __**I**__ was, about if I was okay! B-but, she needed me that one time, and I couldn't even console her. She was so upset mom…she was so upset and all I did was forgive Jake! I promised myself a boy would never come between us, but he did. I-I'm sorry Alli, I'm so sorry." _

I hissed, feeling the blood seeping through my jeans, and the fabric began to stick to my jeans. The wind picked up in the park, causing me to shiver slightly, and when I tried to move my left arm, I noticed I couldn't feel it. My heart raced, and I smiled, realizing, that this was it…I was going to die, and I was going to embrace every second of it.

My head leaned back on the bark of the tree, the sounds of birds chirping and the wind whistling filled my ears. I smiled, clenching my eyes tightly, as I held back the tears. I didn't deserve to cry, because I wasn't worthy to shed tears over her. I can't wait to die, to go to hell…to be rejected by God, and to be dropped into the flames of the home of the devil.

_**It's where I belonged. **_

"_Please Clare-come out of your room. Alli wouldn't want you to stay here, she would want you to live on, to try to be happy without her. You're a good person Clare, you just made mistakes. Please Clare, honey open up the door."_

"Clare?" I gasped, my eyes widening with fear as I saw Eli, approaching me, holding my books, "Clare, what are you doing here?"

I parted my lips, my nervous, frantic breaths filling the air as I tried to hide my arm, but Eli's eyes had caught sight the damage. I didn't what he would do, or what he would say, but I watched his every move. He glanced down at me, his Adam's apple bobbing as he asked in a hushed tone, "D-did you cut yourself, Clare?"

Eli kneeled down in front of me, and took my bleeding arm into his hands, as he traced his cool fingertips over the gash. I bit back my bottom lip, and as he started to remove his jacket, I asked nervously, "W-what are you doing?"

"Trying to stop the bleeding, you're going to lose circulation and you're going to lose your arm. This is dangerous Clare, we have to get you to a hospital," he said, but I needed to disobey him, I needed to leave Earth. He didn't understand, he didn't even know half of it. So I pushed him away, just like everyone else.

"Leave me alone Eli, I need to be…like this," I whispered shakily, letting my arm flow freely, the blood now dripping onto the dead grass in the park that surrounded the leafless trees.

"Clare…I know what happened with Alli, and I know that you're upset, but you're not alone," he reassured, and I scoffed, "I'm not going to believe you Eli. You're just like my mother, Glen, and Jake. All they all try to do is pry me into believing that I was a good person to her. I neglected her, I put myself before my best friend…I killed her Eli, I did."

"She got hit by a car Clare, for Christ sakes were you the one behind the wheel? Were you?" He seethed at me through gritted teeth, his green eyes being covered by unshed tears, "No…you weren't. You weren't the drunk driver that got behind the wheel; you were the one who always stood by her side when she needed help. You were the one who sent her to heaven Clare, you. She loved you like a sister. I know that you two were best friends, and even when you rejected her apology at the cabin, she still knew that she was in your heart. Wasn't she Clare?"

"I-I guess," I held back a sob, holding in the tears as Eli whispered, glancing up at me with a gentle look in his eyes, "Stop fighting it Clare…stop fighting your body. You're fighting your mind, and it's only destroying you."

"I destroyed her Eli! I don't deserve to-," my breathing hitched when I felt Eli's two, ice-cold hands connect with my burning cheeks, "You listen to me Clare, I went insane…blaming myself. Do you want to end up like me, huh? Do you want to end up like the insane, bi-polar, emo freak of the school? Do you want to become that? DO YOU?"

"You're not that! You're Eli!" I shouted, pushing him away as I stood up on two shaky feet, the blood continuing to ooze out of the gash, "I want you to leave me alone Eli, please."

"No. I might not be a boyfriend…or even a friend…but I'm a person Clare, and I'm not letting you die because you're thinking irrationally. Now please, come on, come with me. I'll take you to the hospital and we'll think this all out," he stated calmly, trying to reach for my hand, but I swatted it away, "I want to be alone! I don't want to go!"

My jaw was clenched, as I tried to prevent the tears from falling, "Why are you doing this Clare? Don't break Clare, don't do it."

Silence filled the air, as he whispered, "It's okay to cry…you know? It's good to cry…"

"No it's not. It's not okay to cry," I whimpered, as he smirked, wrapping his arms around me in a tight embrace, as my left arm lay limp at my side, "Just cry Clare…don't beat yourself up about this and then keep it in. Just let it out already, please. You're only hurting yourself by not letting down your guard."

I clenched my eyes shut, and before I knew it, the tears were being released. I clutched my chest, as my lungs tightened and I whimpered in his arms. My chin trembled, and my lip quivered, as my sobs became frantic, "Good, let it out Clare…let it out."

"Oh god," I gripped onto Eli, as my tears started soaking up in his black leather jacket. I shook in his arms, as I felt his hands run smooth, soft, circular motions over my back.

"It hurts," I whimpered, "Everything hurts."

"_Clare, Alli wanted you to have this. I remember that day you two were outside, making bracelets until midnight. We found this going through her room, and we believe this was something she would want you to have. Take it Clare, and hold onto it tightly." _

I whimpered in Eli's arms, as I gripped the bracelet in my shaking right hand. My tears blurred my vision, and the only thing I could see on the bracelet was _**"Alli + Clare= Bffls 3".**_

"W-we made this bracelet together," I said shakily in Eli's ear, as he pulled back, to glance down at the bracelet in my hand. He smirked, slipping the bracelet out of my hand and he kissed my palm gently, before saying, "It belongs around your wrist Clare, this way, she's always with you."

Eli peeled off his jacket, and gestured to my arm, "May I?"

"You'll get it all bloody though," I informed, as he scoffed, "Blood is my thing Edwards, you should know that by now. Give me your hand; I have to make sure we get you to the hospital."

I was hesitant, completely unsure on if I should trust Eli, on if I wanted to live. I mean, I'm so close to death, why not continue to cut until I go unconscious, for the better of everyone.

"Clare," his voice broke me out of my thoughts, "Please sweetheart, give me your hand."

"Sweetheart?" I asked, as he flashed me a genuine smile, "W-when we dated, you'd always respond well to that word. I thought using it would help, so please…sweetheart, honey, give me your hand."

"_I'll love you forever Clare bear, you're my best friend in the whole wide world! I have no idea what I would do without you, I'd probably die!" _

A hole felt as if it was forming in my chest, as I felt two, strong arms wrap around my body. I leaned my head in the crook of Eli's neck, and I inhaled his calming scent, "I'm so glad you were the one to find me Eli."

"Likewise, sweetheart," his soothing voice filled my ears as I felt his grip tighten on me.

When the world was becoming darker, and my surroundings were being blurred out, the only thing I could feel, were the two strong arms, holding me up…helping me fight, against the world.

_"Come on Clare! You're almost there! Keep fighting! Oh no, you're getting so close to heaven! I can almost see you Clare bear! You're almost there-oh my gosh, I can see you! Oh no, you're fading away...Eli's pulling you back...he's holding you back! Tell him to hold on tighter, tell him to fight for you. You don't deserve to end up like me Clare, you deserve to move on. I love you Clare, and I forgive you, but please, fight harder...you're a fighter Clare, a fighter!" _

I forced my eyelids open, and when I did, I got one last glance at Eli, who was driving in a frantic state. I could hear the rain, pounding heavily on the windshield of the car. Before I knew it, I heard the tires screech, and I smiled, feelings Eli's arms comforting pull me into his chest, as we braced for impact...

_I'm coming Alli, but I'm bringing Eli with me. _

A smile curled on my lips, as my clenched eyes realesed, and I saw a smiling Alli before me. I was nervous when I didn't notice Eli, until I realized he was right beside me, holding onto my hand tightly.

"A-Alli, what's going on? Where are we?" I asked nervously, as she sighed, "Eli here, thought it was a bright idea to drive you to the hospital in the pouring rain...he lost control of the steering wheel because he was going too fast. I-I'm sorry Clare, but you both died on impact."

"I-I don't care, as long as we're all here...and we're all together now," I whispered, as I wrapped my arms around Alli, tightening my grip on her body. We both shook in each other's arms, crying hysterically as I whimpered, "I-I've missed you so much Alli, you have no idea."

"You've been so strong Clare, I'm sorry about Jake...I'm sorry-," I cut her off, "No Alli, I'm sorry for not forgiving you. You were hurting, and I was stupid, I'm sorry."

"No I'm sorry Clare, that I have to do this...," I looked at her with nervous eyes, as I asked, "Do wha-."

I couldn't even finish my sentence, before she pushed me off the lump of clouds we had been standing on. My heart dropped into my stomach, as if I was on a roller coaster, as I watched Eli and her fade into nothing but thin air.

My eyes widened, as I gasped in shock, my body jerking up. Sweat came over me, my chest drenched, and my heart racing as I saw Eli, sleeping soundlessly next to my hospital bed. I shook his leg, as he awoke, "Eli, what happened?"

He took a deep breath, before interlocking his hand with mine, "You cut yourself Clare, then after we talked and you cried, I tried to wrap your arm up. But, you wouldn't let me and you darted into the street. A car hit you Clare...and you almost died, on impact."

**END OF IMPACT**

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><p><strong>Reviews?<strong>

Love you guys,

Cliffhanger Girl

3

**P.S.- Happy Birthday eclarefanxxx :)**

**P.S.S.-Check out TurboWiz70 's Youtube channel, there's a big announcement concerning the both of us...you don't want to miss it!**


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